Monday, June 23, 2014

A few months ago I was treated very, very poorly by someone I had considered a dear friend.

This person has just apologized. I accepted the apology, but politely declined having them back in my life.

I am so proud of me.  I have grown up so much over the past few years.  I'd rather have four quarters than one-hundred pennies just weighing me down.  I no longer have interest in toxic relationships and people that do not value me.

It took me twenty-something years to love myself, I don't have that kind of time to convince someone else why they should.

Monday, May 19, 2014

So, I'm trying to be an adult.

This blog post is coming from the fact I have friends who think I need to talk to someone about my feelings... Instead of doing anything legitimate I said fuck it and will instead be reading more on getting better bill pay crap.

Compiling information isn't my forte.  In fact, anything that has to do with copious amounts of research and effort that doesn't have to do with work... I'm not very good at.  I can social media like a boss, and be there for my friends, and on occasion I'll even remember to pay my bills on time (Y U ALL DUE AT RANDOM TIMES OF THE MONTH).  I wish that adulting was something that they taught in school.  You know, a skill that actually fucking matters.

Because I haven't used geometry.  Nor have I needed to dissect a frog.  And I don't make my own money so I really don't need to know what it's made of.  Thanks for nothing, high school.

What I could have learned was budgeting.  Staying out of debt.  How to read apartment leases.  How to buy a house.  Planning your own wedding (I got engaged once, saw how much work it was, and said FUCK THAT and quit that nonsense.  Decided I no longer cared about a wedding that indeed, I never really cared about.  Marriage isn't for everyone.).  Making a proper resume.  They teach you how to make really shitty resumes, but never one that legitimately matters.

I'm 29 years old, and feel more confused about things than I did at 19.  I've thought I've fallen in love, now I'm not so sure.  Maybe it took meeting someone, the one person, who I have accepted for their flaws as well as their qualities.  And I wouldn't change a thing.  Now, I don't have the psychological strength to talk to this person about it (because spoiler alert: I'm indeed not an adult), but it got me to thinking... What else in my life am I dicking up?

Answer: Basically everything.

Everyone thinks I have my shit together.  I think the only thing I have together is that I know that you never really have anything together.  Nobody has it figured out.  Nobody has it all together.  Every day new shit happens, new experiences... Life is hard.  Get with it, and get over it.

Now I just need to figure out step one in my mission to becoming an adult.  Tips?

I haven't got the slightest clue of where to start.  Maybe that's what makes life an adventure.  It goes much better with food.

Sunday, May 4, 2014

HedPE & Soil 5.2.2014

I decided I'm going to post pictures from our events after the shows so you all can get a feel of what it is we do.

First and foremost, I am going to start this blog with a massive thank you.  I had a multitude of people come up to me and thank me for what we do as far as booking and promotions goes.  It keeps me going and reminds me why I do what I do.  We couldn't be more grateful.

Please keep in mind, we did not book this show, we merely work now with Spicoli's up in Waterloo.  I grew up attending the old Reverb and have some of my fondest memories there.  Being able to work with a staff who has known me for nearly 13 years of my life is quite an honor, and I love each and every last one of them.

The show was wonderful.  A great turnout, thank you to everyone who came and rocked out with us!  Here's some photos from the evening.

 Myself, my financial adviser and sanity, Boone, along with the singer of Sunflower Dead, Michael!
 The crowd thoroughly enjoying a stellar performance by Soil!

 Trauma of HedPE rocking his new shirt from the Lootenants right out of Waterloo.  I manage this band, so you should probably check them out and "LIKE" them on Facebook ;) 
 Myself with my buddy Tim King of Soil after the show.  Sending pictures to our mutual friend who totally should have been there.
 Myself with long-time friend Chris, or as everyone else calls him, Beav.

Wednesday, April 30, 2014

On the 19th my friend Kate and I went to see Volbeat in Des Moines.  While there, we met this adorable kid named Jaxin.  This kid is gonna grow up to be a sick drummer one day.

He posted his review of the show the other day, and included us in the blog :) We were pretty flattered so I wanted to share it with all of you!

Read his blog post here.

He also has a Facebook page.  I highly recommend you go give it a "LIKE" and support this growing gentleman!

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

So, this happened.

Tonight I was in our local Target store browsing their DVD deals.  Whilst shopping, security personnel comes up to me... And asks me what I am smoking.

I had my e cigarette in my hand, it was pretty obvious he was accusing me of smoking a vape pen filled with pot wax in the store.  As if I'm some kind of idiot.  I said it was tobacco.  He then proceeds to ask (with other customers around, who are now watching), why I was smoking.  I don't recall if I took a puff or not, I must have, or he was just a dick.

In the state of Iowa it isn't illegal to smoke e cigarettes anywhere.  There's no signs.  It isn't smoking a cigarette.  And while you shouldn't ingest the liquid itself (fucking duh), the vape that it expels is not proven in any circumstance to be harmful.

Needless to say, it was an embarrassing experience and I don't like being singled out simply because I have a fucking purple mohawk.

Anyway, I returned home to write the following letter to their corporate headquarters:

This evening I was shopping at your Blairsferry location for some movies when I was stopped by your security personnel.  I had my e cigarette in hand, and with other customers around, he asked "what I was smoking."  As if accusing me of smoking marijuana in your facility.  Immediately embarrassed and offended, I explained it was merely an e cigarette.  He then asked me "why I was smoking" (I guess I had taken a small puff while browsing DVDs), flabbergasted I had no response, knowing legally in the state of Iowa that e cigarettes are not illegal in businesses.  He told me smoking in the store was not permitted, and stared at me until I was able to awkwardly put my e cigarette into my pocket.  It was entirely embarrassing that this happened in front of other customers, especially given it felt I was being accused of carrying illegal substances.  Needless to say, I left your facility and took my business elsewhere for the evening, and I plan to do that more regularly.  I have no intention of shopping at your stores if this is the type of embarrassing treatment I get as a customer, and I will be sure to share my experience.  You should make sure your personnel are more respectful of shoppers and don't embarrass them publicly.
Hopefully this gets some sort of response.  Nobody deserves to be publicly berated in front of other customers when they are shopping, let alone accused of doing something illegal.  The whole situation could have been handled incredibly differently.

After stopping at Target, I went and bought a pack of cigarettes and a soda at the gas station.  Yeah I know, why buy cigarettes when you have an e cigarette.  Bad habit, plus for some reason I like smoking when I have 5 flyers to design.  The guy standing behind me at the register, "Do you smoke when you run?"


"Do you go jogging?"

"... No."

"Do you work out?"

"Not particularly." (As if with the way my AIP has been acting up like that is even fucking possible.)

"You look like you do."


"Exercise is good for you, you know, and smoking is bad for you."

"Oh, no way, I didn't know that.  That isn't common knowledge or anything.  Thanks for shedding some light on that for me."

Out the door I went.

You know studies show that obnoxious comments like that make people less likely to quit smoking?  Food for thought.  When stress and irritation arises in a smoker, they indeed, want to smoke.  Good plan would be to stop fucking doing that.

Thursday, April 3, 2014

You know what.

You're fucking welcome.  I'm glad me being a raging cunt got you to do something about the thing that bothered you the most.

Go you.  Applause.  Four for you, Glen Coco.  You go, Glen Coco.

Monday, March 24, 2014

Living with porphyria is something that has shaped and changed my life since I was 10.

Let me start at the beginning.

When I was 9 or 10, I got something that seemed like the flu.  The flu didn't get any better, and my parents took me to the doctor.  I was in so much physical pain some mornings I couldn't get out of bed.  The doctor tells my parents I have lupus.  They refused to accept this as an answering, and down to the University of Iowa hospital I go.  Frequently.  Over a period of six months.

I was poked and prodded.  On a good day, I could get up to walk around on my own.  I weighed 42 lbs when I turned 10 years old.  Not exactly a stunning vision of health.  I was so thin I had to sit on a pillow.  I could hardly keep food down.  All I wanted to do was sleep.  I remember thinking I was going to die.  Up until a year and a half ago, I had no idea that I had asked my father at one point if I was going to.

One day, I had a miraculous recovery.  I ate a cinnamon roll.  Followed by another cinnamon roll.  I remember my dad being so excited he had called my mom at work.  I hadn't been able to stay home alone at any point because we never knew if I would be able to get up on my own.  I can't remember now if I was in so much pain I didn't want to move, or if I physically couldn't.

As time progressed... I noticed plenty of joint pain, I would still get sick, and when I began menstruating I had the most horrendous cramps.  Enough that I was vomiting, laying in the fetal position, and I refused to get up.  I finally saw an OBGYN who was convinced I had endometriosis, and put me on continuous birth control to cease the issue.

Turns out, wasn't the issue.  When I was 22 I was diagnosed with adenocarcinoma of the cervix.  I ended up at the end of it having a laproscopic procedure done to ensure that nothing was affecting my uterus, and to see if I truly had endometriosis.  I had talked to a doctor when I was 19 and getting thoroughly ill again who believed I had AIP.  The initial tests had come back negative, but that didn't stop him from giving me a glucose IV and making sure I had pain killers to cease the issue.  Sure enough, it worked, and I was on my merry way again.  When my laproscopic procedure showed no signs of endometriosis, I figured out that my physician at some hospital in Dubuque was right.

I was told how to handle it the best I could at home.  There aren't any real treatments for porphyria.  Just ways to make you comfortable in living with it.  Constant chronic pain, fatigue, and the attacks are relentless.

It isn't the pain that is the real killer, though.

Now that I'm 29 years old and have had plenty of bouts at the hospital... I realize how deadly medical bills are.  With or without insurance.  I've begun to avoid going when I have attacks, even though that is the fastest way to curb my misery.  I simply cannot afford it, and cannot afford to go into anymore debt or have my credit score further destroyed by these horrible bills that I simply cannot afford to pay.  To people who say, "work more," or "get a second job"... This is a tremendous pain to work one.  It is wearing every day on my health and I do it just to get by.  Getting a second job is not an option.  Getting disability is difficult and something I've been avoiding because I do not want to sit at home all day not working.

I love work.  I love it even more knowing that there will be a day that I will no longer be able to.

Just remember when you judge someone that you may not see all of their suffering.  I look normal, I look healthy, but every day I have pain in my joints and muscles.  I have a constant abdominal cramping that I cannot shake.  This is something I have to live with and it isn't always easy, even when I try to make the best of it.

I've decided to blog more about living with this health condition, after reading several blogs of other people going through this.  I don't want people to think they are alone.  I don't want people to think they are the only ones suffering.  And maybe if we all communicate with one another... We can work through this.  And figure it out.

It's basically hell.

AIP is the devil on my back.